Friday, 7 December 2012


I love to cut. It's sort of like, my guilty pleasure. I love it. I love the feeling of a blade going over my skin, the adrenaline rush. But don't worry about me, I sanitize my blades, I don't cut long and I don't cut deep. I just cut.

I mostly cut on my stomach, 'cause I don't really want anyone to know that I do it. In my school, like many others, if you cut, you're a loser. You're taunted and bullied mercilessly. It sucks.

I don't know why I cut, I just do. Nearly all of the times, it's cause I'm upset. It just takes everything away, I guess. I mean, it comes back after of course, but then I can deal with it. After I've put a bandage on my cut of course.

I don't mind having to wear a full swimsuit to the beach, even though every other girl there is wearing a bikini. I have my guilty pleasure.

I've told one or two people about it. They just say stuff like "Oh that's terrible" or "That's really bad for you,"
But it's not. Like I said, I don't cut hard, and I don't cut deep. Just little scrapes, really. No scars. They do away in a little while.

I guess I shouldn't really count myself as a cutter. But I do. Whatever.

The only times I really cut is when everything has just piled up on each other. My feelings sort of spin out of control, and I don't know what to do. Cutting takes it all away, and files it away in a proper place where I understand them, and then can try to fix them.

Did you know that approximately three teens in England cut themselves every minute?
That's a hell of a lot.

And to all of those Internet freaks who say "Cutting is stupid" or "Only attention-seekers cut".

You are so wrong it's not even funny. How can you just blatantly say that?
Not everyone just cuts because they want their mommy or daddy to notice. Some people cut because they're in pain, and they don't know how to make it go away.
Cutting is not stupid. It's a coping method. And a really good one. And if you think that cutting is just for attention-whores, well then I'm happy that your life so amazing that you don't ever know what it's like to be hurt, and to feel like you just want to lie down and die.

I don't know if maybe some of you feel the same way? Feel free to discuss it with me.

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